it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
