Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
