Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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