FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
