I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
