If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
