What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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