i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
