i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
