I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
