I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
