i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My vagina is officially offended.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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