Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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