Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
