Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Pooping to opera.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
