I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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