How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
kristin has been a bad kristin
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
