Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize