Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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