If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
