It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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