so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
