The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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