Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
