I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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