we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
