i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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