Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
