Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
