It's Friday. Sex?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
