Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My liver just had a heart attack.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
