I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
