small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
