About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
