...so i touched it.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
