Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
be right there i have to get my cape
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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