I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
