Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
