no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
