I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
