Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
