we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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