what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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