its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I need to stop coming to work sober
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
