Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
