i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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