I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
