Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
