Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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