why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
