Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
