i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
