there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
