Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
