see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
