Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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