I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
