butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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