I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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