So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
