my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
