he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
