Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
