honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
