Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
