meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
