Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I feel like a drive thru vagina
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
