You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
