Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
