Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
