I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
