How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
