Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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